And if, someday, you do know, you'll probably never care.
How many times a day my mind wanders to you and before I know it, I'm inside a memory. And I can see you in front of me and the smile on your face and those teeth I always loved.
And your ponytail as you washed the dishes in your light purple nightgown and little white socks.
Those days, I was so scared. I wish I hadn't been.
No. Fuck that. I've wished for those things too many times.
I should have been stronger.
I should have found a way to make the whole thing work.
There will never be anyone like you again.
There will never be anyone like you again.
There will never be anyone like you again.
I will always hold you in my heart.
I will always think of you.
There will never be anyone like you again.
There just never will be.

It's worse in the winter. The cold makes me wish I could smell your perfume over the dry air, the wind outside, the cold.
I know we did things we shouldn't have. I know you and I were more sexual than we should have been and that there should have been a hell of a lot more to us than that. I know. I was so scared. I couldn't think of any other way to show you. I didn't know what I was doing so I did anything that felt good.
Right now and most times, all I want to do is kiss you. Hold your face in my hands and feel the contours of your jawline and kiss you.
When did I get so weak? When did I finally cross the line with you? The one I could never get back to the other side of.
I was weak and fat and lazy and I wasn't enjoying life at all while I had you, the only woman I've ever truly wanted right there.
You were right there and I couldn't see it.
I couldn't even see you...
So, I will always think of you and will always hold you in my heart and will never have you again.

Jesus. I was such an ass. What the hell was I doing? I've forgiven myself a great many things, but never this. Never throwing you away. Never taking you for granted.
I'll never forgive that.

I will always think of you.
I will always hold you in my heart.
I will always miss you.